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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Recently went through the court system. The ex booted me out of the house on a restraining order (utter bullshit). While I was gone, she moved 200 miles away and took my two children ages 5 and 7 with her. Prior to this, I was raisinig my children and she was running around out having fun. I've been fighting in court to get partial custody, but I'm getting no where.

Has any other fathers out here felt the unjustice of our society beat them down and use you solely as an ATM machine for child support? I'm starting to understand that the courts make tons of money in "processing fees" for every dollar that they take from the dad.

4 days a month visitation IS CHILD ABUSE!!
 

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AcrophobiA
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Dammit man, I am sorry they are basically giving the vaseline treatment. I hope it turns out better though!
 

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Tonight the world is mine
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WOW! sorry to hear that man :(

A family friend went through some shit like that. Its so sad. Seems the courts blame the father for everything, even if the mother is a ****up.
 

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Give me 3 yrs...
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were doing my court papers as we speak and im really lookn for some guidance on the entire thing, shoot me a pm man and lemme know wat i need to look out for the only thing we arnt in aggreance on is the ammount of time i get to spend with matt she wants to keep me at like u said 4 to 8 days a month which im pretty upset about... but like i said i dont really wanna lay my entire personal situation out here in public so shoot me a pm man
 

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xtremefour
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Well as the stepfather to children of a deadbeat dad I am very glad with the court system so far.

I'll explain, My step kids Ben 8 and Abby 5 have a dad that is worth crap. He has never had to pay child support until I came in the picture and made my fiancee go after him for it. She was too afraid he was going to try and take the kids of something like that.

He lived in another state and only came to see the kids a couple of times a month. He paid no child support and she lived in a house that he owned and had to pay him rent. When I met her I told her that was crap and I bought a house and moved everyone out.

We recently, since december have been getting child support from him. (800 big ones a month) He has since day 1 bitched about the money and I could give a rats A$$ what he thinks. He recently was arrested for possesion of cocaine, he 1300 on his person and 1400 in the center console of his truck. Less than 24hrs prior to this I had been speaking to him that I need some money from him for groceries and he gave me a sob story that he had not eaten in 3 days and his car was out of gas. This happened prior to the childsupport......

So from a dad that has to pick up the slack of the loser dads out there I'm very happy when the courts do what they can.

I'm not saying that your a deadbeat but there is a lot of them out there and thats why the system is the way that it is. For guys like me it works...



Matt
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Sure it'll work, for good dads and the losers. He sounds like an ass.
Just because you got what you wanted doesnt make the court system right.
If you were pro-slavery 100 years ago, and you went to court to testify against an underground railroad operator that helped your slave run away, the court would have worked for you then as well.

The current court system witholds all of us fathers that would like to be with our children from our kin. Again, I was raising my children. The court interfered, caused me and my children great greif, emotional and psychological damage, not to mention the economic devistation it has caused.

I started this thread to ask if others were in this situation, not for someone to parade around praising a system that abuses our children. The system worked in your favor because they make money off of his income. They didn't give a rat's ass about your step children.
 

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xtremefour
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I agree with what your saying, and it does sound like you are getting the raw end of the deal. I was just giving you some information from another father who has had to deal with the system.

Take it as you want but I'm not trying to "parade around praising a system that abuses our children" If anything the system has helped us by now having the money to take of his children like they should be.

And if you we taking care of your kids by yourself then I give you all the props in the world, thats a very admirable thing to be doing. But you are one of few good dads out there and the I agree the system is very lopsided. Get yourself a good lawyer and if you can show proof of her past history or start taking records. I have plenty of copies of my fiancees ex and his drug problems and stuff.



Matt
 

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Discussion Starter #16
>> But you are one of few good dads out there
I have many a friend who are excellent dads. I wouldnt call them "few" in my chain of friends. Most "bad" dads, as you might call them, have been victimized by the court system, leaving them behind with nothing, and little rights to thier children. Most of them don't have the money, resources, or knowledge how to even start a dispute. I went into the system completely blind. Knowing I did nothing wrong, I knew the truth would prevail and justice would pursue. HAHAHAHA Yeah, right!! It sounds like your wife was hooked up with a loser and you're generalizing most fathers out here based on your experience.

>>Get yourself a good lawyer and if you can show proof of her past history or start taking records.
My friend, you're not getting the reality of the system. I hired three lawyers, a guardian ad-liteum ( <-- do you know what that is?), a child therapist, and a forensic phychologist. Where did all of this get me? $80,000 poorer. I dont care if you have a good lawyer or not, the father has VERY LITTLE chance in family court. I can not afford anymore. I pretty much wasted my money and energy in a system setup to withdraw cash from the male, and send the kids off with the mother. They really didnt give a shit about my children's well-being, or the trauma they've been put through.
 

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The entire court system is a joke and a scam. Everythign from speeding tickets to lawsuits to "child abuse" and custody battles. It's a money making machine that can't be stopped.

Example: How is it that an illegal alien, driving a car with no insurance, no license, no registration (at least $600 in fines by law), gets to walk out of court with $100 in fines (oh, and he's not allowed to apply for a license for the next 5 years...LIKE HE WAS GOING TO ANYWAY!) How is it that a rather cute 17 year old girl speeding 25-over with 3 friends in the car (cinderella license) gets to walk out of court with $45 in fines for a seatbelt ticket, and I get dicked with a wreckless driving ticket (cost me $350 to get out of) for chirping tires? Surcharge for this, fee for that... it's bullshit.
 

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I know what it is though.

When the state legislators are sitting in a smoke filled room thinking about how they can make more money, somebody brings up the idea to put a bunch of extra fines on fathers convicted of child abuse. Little surcharge here, little fine there, and they'll make a million extra dollars this year for free. They all agree that that's a great idea, and they pass this bill on and it gets passed UNOPPOSED. Why? Because what state official who values their job is going to take a stand for fathers convicted of child abuse? Nobody. The same things happen for speeders, people convicted of drug posession, DUI's, everything. This continues until the fines and charges are so astronomical that if you f*ck up ONE TIME, you are f*cked for life.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Actually what they do is charge a "processing fee" on every dollar they bring in as a "service". It's called "wage garnishment". They get fat off pulling your money out and giving it to the female. Of course, there are times when the woman is the breadwinner, but in the end, she'll usually end up with custody.
There was no child abuse in my case. Except for what the courts put my two little rainbows through. My children cry and tell me they want to live with me and want to visit mommy. You'd think I can do something about this? WRONG!!
So, we need to wait until my son/daughter grow and start becoming pissed teens, and running away from home before things will change... all because my ex needs to secure the income I have been ordered to pay her. The courts reinforce this custody so they can keep getting fat.

My conern is about the children. The courts don't care, and traumatize children every day. There is a huge problem with the antiquated family court system, and it needs to change.
 

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xtremefour
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Like I said I'm sorry to here what your going through. You have had to deal with the system more so than I have...


I know it says drewbad, but your real name wouldn't be Brad K. would it lol?
 
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