[944v8indfw]

I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

What do you call a hot dog on wheels? Fast food! -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

You can't trust atoms. They make up everything! --Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Did you hear about the man who cut off his left leg with a weed eater? He’s all right now. --Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Why did the duck fall on the sidewalk? He tripped on a quack. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Why did the scarecrow win an award? It was outstanding in its field. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Why did Waldo go to therapy? To find himself. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

I haven’t talked to Mom in a week — I didn’t want to interrupt her. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Why did police arrest the turkey? They suspected fowl play. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

Where’s the one place you should never take your dog? A flea market. -- Dad

 

[944v8indfw]

How did the farmer fix his torn overalls? With a cabbage patch. -- Dad