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Community Question: Dad Jokes

1931 Views 42 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  bobpope
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Hello everyone!

We’ve all heard them. We’ve probably told a few ourselves. That’s right - the infamously corny and usually safe-for-work dad joke.

With Father’s day just around the bend, we thought it would be fittingly corny and fun for us to share our best (and worst) dad jokes with one another.

Whether you have a few somewhat actually funny dad jokes packed away for a special day or you delight in seeing eyes roll when you spout ridiculous witticisms, we’d love to hear them. The more clever or silly, the better.

Oh, and let’s keep it clean. We get some dads (and dad jokes) are less presentable than others. No offense meant to any unkempt dads out there. :)

Thank you for being part of this community, for being kind, and for sharing.

~VS Community Management Team
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1 - 20 of 43 Posts
I invested $80 in the cannabis industry and it all went up in smoke. -- Dad
  • Haha
Reactions: 1
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. -- Dad
  • Haha
Reactions: 1
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. --Dad
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. -- Dad
I was once a personal trainer, until I gave a too-weak notice. -- Dad
I just finished management class. Anger management. -- Dad
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims. -- Dad
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along -- Dad
Mom said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward -- Dad
What did one toilet say to the other? You look a bit flushed. -- Dad
What did the little corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn? -- Dad
What’s brown and sticky? A stick. -- Dad
Mom asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up. -- Dad
Mom asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said maybe… -- Dad
Air used to be free at the gas station, now it's $1.50. You know why? Inflation. -- Dad
Mom said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort. -- Dad
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know. -- Dad
What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless. -- Dad
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn't like it. -- Dad
I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady. -- Dad
1 - 20 of 43 Posts
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