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Ehhh!
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Discussion Starter #1
So I have a pretty kewl job doing outdoor adventure type stuff and ran a nightclub before that. I have had some interesting things happen but not near as weird as my friend. He is down in Destin that keeps posting on myspace some funny/odd/crazy stuff that keeps happening to him @ work. It gives me a good laugh from time to time. Just wondering if anybody had any good stories. I will start it out w a couple of his.

Bro why do I always run into these f***in nuttbags on the job!! This f***n fa**ot tried to set my as$ up man im over here on the island workin and this scrawny jamacian dude in some ragity a$s boxers comes up to me and is like aye mon me phone no work.. im like ok so i walk up in his sh!t hole apt and i pick up the phone and im like bro your phone is workin hes like no mon and calls it and it doesnt ring.. in the mean time i glance over at his f***in tv and he has gay porn goin! im talkin hard core gay porn!! my gag reflex starts goin and im bout to puke all over this place and suddenly i get real uncomfortable like ok whats goin on?? F**K! i look down at his phone and his f**kin ringer is turned off so the phone wont ring.. F**K! this dude is tryin to mob on me man!! im like hey man your ringer is off everything is good.. IM OUT! and he gets like all emotional and is like aye why gon leave so soon me bruva.. im like hey man i dont know what kind of ****ed up intentions you got but im bouncin so step to the side or ill knock you back to kingston! yo this fool drops to his knees and starts ramblin some shit i have no idea what hes sayin! i just took my skinny ass to the truck and rolled out.. ****ing weird mother fu**ers man! I hate my job sometimes!!!! always meet the freakin weirdos man dang dont normal people have cable problems????

He sent me another one a couple of weeks ago about this chick that was dressed up like a vampire. Had all kinds of vampire books and decorations around the house. Well as he gets in and is working on her tv, she starts walking in circles right behind him and looking over his shoulder. She then starts making this hissing sound. Hiss hiss hiss. lol. He was like ma'am If you want me to finish your cable you need to leave me alone. She goes into the kitchen and starts hissing really loud and starts walking towards. Dude grabs his stuff and walks the hell out the door. Weird people. any more?
 

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Totally Confused
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2,073 Posts
Well I work at DHL and one day we had a box coming down the line to be sorted, and it was vibrating. I looked at the waybill and noticed that it was going to a sex shop. I stopped the line and every came running over (we were ahead and it was a slow morning). When I opened it, there were around 20 dildos and one was vibrating. I wrote and inspection report as to why the box had been opened and repacked and it went something like this:

"Box vibrating upon entering facility. Large male genital appendage approx. 12" long turned on. Laughed my ass off, turned off unit, repacked box to great dismay of female coworkers."

I really wrote that too. I've delivered that run before I've met the people that work there. Apparently they thought it was hilarious lol.
 

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SHENANIGANS!!!
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5,860 Posts
That is what I asked him. Because I said if she waws like Kate Beckinsale type vampire. It is so on! Bite me where ever you want. haha. But this chick was big! BIG
Yes, Kate Beckinsale is quite delightful. My favorite actually. I would probably suck a fart out of her ass as a matter of fact. :haha:
 

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800 Posts
The guy next to me went on vacation. So we put his house up for sale.

One guy turned 50, so I rented a 4x8 lighted sign with a big flashing yellow arrow on top. Put "Buddy Dixon turns 50 today" and sat it in front of the dealership at 6am and lit it up. You could see it a mile either direction.

We made a spare key to the boss's car one day. After lunch each day, we would move it around the parking lot. This went on for 2 years and he never caught on.

Put a blow-up doll in the boss's car one day. He did not see it until he was in the car & in gear. then he bailed out when he saw it.

Duct taped the boss in the men's room and would not let him out.

One boss walked out of his office one day & saw the factory rep coming in the door. He took off running and fell in the alignment pit & broke his leg.

We have a good time at work!
 

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One day, a girl called up raising hell that her drivers seat was stuck and would not move. Had to have it fixed today, no excuses acceptible! So she dropped it off. A couple of hours later, the tech brings in this rather large vibrating dildo that was stuck in the seat track. Well, BMW warranty does not cover dildo removal, so we charged the customer. Later that day, the girl's dad showed up to bitch about why we were charging her to fix the seat. Being as politically correct as we could, we tried to explain that there was something stuck in the seat track and was not a warrantible situation. This just pissed dad off more and he demanded to see what we found. So, the girl that was dealing with him handed him a brown paper sack containing said non-warrantible object. Dad opened the bag & looked in, closed the bag, looked at the service writer and in a very soft voice asked how much he owed her for the repair. I would have loved to be there when he handed it to the bitchy daughter. Must have been priceless.
 

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My mirror hates my sub
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9,463 Posts
One day, a girl called up raising hell that her drivers seat was stuck and would not move. Had to have it fixed today, no excuses acceptible! So she dropped it off. A couple of hours later, the tech brings in this rather large vibrating dildo that was stuck in the seat track. Well, BMW warranty does not cover dildo removal, so we charged the customer. Later that day, the girl's dad showed up to bitch about why we were charging her to fix the seat. Being as politically correct as we could, we tried to explain that there was something stuck in the seat track and was not a warrantible situation. This just pissed dad off more and he demanded to see what we found. So, the girl that was dealing with him handed him a brown paper sack containing said non-warrantible object. Dad opened the bag & looked in, closed the bag, looked at the service writer and in a very soft voice asked how much he owed her for the repair. I would have loved to be there when he handed it to the bitchy daughter. Must have been priceless.
lol!!!! thats great
 

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Totally Confused
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2,073 Posts
Come on someone else has got to have a good story out there. Wasn't there a thread on this a year ago though? Don't want to get caught by the repost police!
 

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Ehhh!
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2,285 Posts
Discussion Starter #14 (Edited)
Hahaha that is classic. That would have definitely been an interesting conversation at the house. I don't know if I could do it. Maybe just leave the bag and a note that said she owed me money. If she wants to talk about it that is on her. Talk to mom. ha. And I searched for another post of this type. But I think the only thing that came up was a "bad things done at work." I was just wanting to hear some funny messed up stuff like I had posted.
 

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First of all, this is about as good as I get as far as artwork goes, so don't flame me too much. :haha:

The machines I work on are about 15 feet long. In the picture above, the circle is where I was, working on the machine. The four squares represent a pharmacist and 3 pharmacy techs filling prescriptions. All were women.

I was crouched down replacing a computer on this machine. The four women apparently are also friends outside of work. Apparently, they all had gone to a sex toy party of some sort and were talking about some of their purchases, specifically which toy gave them the most pleasure, what they liked, what they didn't like. Here's the kicker: Where I was crouched down, they couldn't see me so they obviously had NO idea I was listening to this. After this went on for 10 minutes or so, I couldn't take it any longer or I was going to bust out laughing. So I stood up. The girl that was second from the end must've been embarrassed because ALL color drained from her face, her eyes were the size of baseballs and she said "Oh my GOD, your heard that WHOLE conversation, didn't you?" She covered her face with her hands and RAN OUT OF THE PHARMACY! She never came back while I was there.

Some of the most interesting of conversations can be heard in pharmacies. :haha:
 

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Roadrunner=Chicken
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12,816 Posts
Worked with a bunch of hispanic females and they would speak in spanish around me thinking I didn't understand being a white guy from northern Michigan. One day they were in conversation and the topic was their boyfriends equipment. At one point I looked at Krissy and said "So it's crooked?" She turned five shades of red and wouldn't look at me for a week. They never talked about personal matters in front of me after that.
 

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tu-tu guru
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8,893 Posts
hahaha, funny stories!

i had a co-worker go to do a service call on a guys home theatre, and after hooking up everything he went to test it and turned the dvd player on with the owner in the room, well when the dvd turned on it was two dudes brokeback mountain style on the tv...needless to say the guy was pretty embarassed...
 

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Haha. That is funny. She was embarrassed because you now know she is a FaaaaaREAK!
Hell yeah she was. All those women were freaks, and HOT, even the pharmacist. Pharmacist was definitely a MILF. The remaining 3 were definitely shameless, as they continued with their conversation after the embarrassed one shagged ass out of there. They laughed about it for quite awhile, as did I.


Next time you go to a pharmacy, try to hear what's being discussed by the staff. You may be surprised at what you hear.
 

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PHAT JOE
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5,916 Posts
One day, a girl called up raising hell that her drivers seat was stuck and would not move. Had to have it fixed today, no excuses acceptible! So she dropped it off. A couple of hours later, the tech brings in this rather large vibrating dildo that was stuck in the seat track. Well, BMW warranty does not cover dildo removal, so we charged the customer. Later that day, the girl's dad showed up to bitch about why we were charging her to fix the seat. Being as politically correct as we could, we tried to explain that there was something stuck in the seat track and was not a warrantible situation. This just pissed dad off more and he demanded to see what we found. So, the girl that was dealing with him handed him a brown paper sack containing said non-warrantible object. Dad opened the bag & looked in, closed the bag, looked at the service writer and in a very soft voice asked how much he owed her for the repair. I would have loved to be there when he handed it to the bitchy daughter. Must have been priceless.
fawkin priceles hahahahahahaha
 
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