funny drinking and party toasts

blazerida88 · 11-03-2009, 09:36 PM

ok well i was out the other night at the bar and heard a good one, what r some funny ones u guys know

Here's to the wound that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels. And all the soap this side of hell won't wash away that fishy smell.

towb3 · 11-04-2009, 12:47 AM

I have a friend that would fill pages of this thread with toasts. It is funny for a while, but at times I just want to drink. No need to toast between every drink.

556mm · 11-04-2009, 01:02 AM

here's to honor, if you can't come in 'er come on 'er.

S-10_man66 · 11-04-2009, 02:28 AM

My dad has got some Ill have to ask him

blazerida88 · 11-04-2009, 02:48 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by 556mm

here's to honor, if you can't come in 'er come on 'er.

I have heard that before but everytime I hear it I crack up

van_wilder · 11-04-2009, 03:23 AM

ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pussy's not pizza so don't eat the crust...

here's to living single, seeing double, and sleeping triple...

Here's to the girl with the little red shoes, she loves her nookie, she loves her booze... she's lost her cherry, but that's no sin... cause she's still got the box the cherry came in!

Offer her your honor,and if she honors your offer,get honor and offer all night...

_juice_ · 11-04-2009, 05:53 AM

through the lips, over the gums look out stomach HERE IT COMES!!
my sis-in-law says that all the time

twotoneds10 · 11-04-2009, 08:42 AM

Here's to you, here's to me. Friends forever shall we be. If ever we should disagree, then **** you. Here's to me.

Metlhed01 · 11-04-2009, 11:10 AM

lets make a toast to all the lesbians and virgins out there, thanks for ****in nothin!

deathphoenix99 · 11-04-2009, 11:44 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by twotoneds10

Here's to you, here's to me. Friends forever shall we be. If ever we should disagree, then **** you. Here's to me.

Similiar, my dad apparently said this at his wedding toast.

"Here's to you, Here's to me. Hope we never disagree. If we do, to hell with you. Here's to me."

Still married too after twenty something years.

MeltingPlastic · 11-04-2009, 11:50 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by 556mm

here's to honor, if you can't come in 'er come on 'er.

thats the short version... i know it as

Here's to Honor! To getting honor, to keeping honor, and if you can't cum in her, cum on her!

vindicated_4.3 · 11-04-2009, 12:25 PM

"Heres to a long life and a happy one,
A quick death and a quiet one,
A pretty girl and an honest one,
A cold beer and another one!"

"Heres to nights I cant remember and friends Ill never forget."

"I fvcked her standing, I fvcked her lying, If she had wing Id have fvcked her flying. Now shes gone but not forgoten, Ill dig her up and fvck her rotten."

Thats all I got for now.

vivalahammer · 11-04-2009, 12:59 PM

hmm, subscribes.

bubbagt57 · 11-04-2009, 01:26 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by vivalahammer

hmm, subscribes.

x2.

blazerida88 · 11-04-2009, 02:07 PM

Hahaha these r some good ones lol, I'll probablly never use em but they r funny as hell to hear

BUCKET · 11-06-2009, 03:58 PM

here's to our wives and girlfriends. hope they never meet....

neo71665 · 11-06-2009, 04:25 PM

You guys came by to have some fun.
You'll come and stay all night, I fear.
But I know how to make you run.
I'll serve you all generic beer.

leadsled2020 · 11-06-2009, 04:35 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by neo71665

You guys came by to have some fun.
You'll come and stay all night, I fear.
But I know how to make you run.
I'll serve you all generic beer.

that would work but all of my friends drink generic beer anyway.....lol

ExtremeVI · 11-06-2009, 04:38 PM

Here's to nipples... without 'em tits are pointless.

littleblacktruck2 · 11-06-2009, 04:40 PM

Here's to good times, loose women, and hott sex...may they cum together always.

neo71665 · 11-06-2009, 04:45 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by leadsled2020

that would work but all of my friends drink generic beer anyway.....lol

Get friends with taste??

S-10_man66 · 11-06-2009, 11:57 PM

Heres to Osama that Son of a B*tch
May his pecker fall off with the seven year itch
Id like to beat on his balls with a big brass hammer
Until his asshole screams the Star Spangled Banner

Sugar in a bowl, Coffee in a cup, stick her in the butt you wont knock her up.

blazerida88 · 11-07-2009, 03:59 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by S-10_man66

Heres to Osama that Son of a B*tch
May his pecker fall off with the seven year itch
Id like to beat on his balls with a big brass hammer
Until his asshole screams the Star Spangled Banner

Sugar in a bowl, Coffee in a cup, stick her in the butt you wont knock her up.

hahaha that last ones funny, but those seem more like just funny sayings rather than toasts or whatever, but its all good, this should just be a whatever u wanna say thats funny thread. i can always use a good laugh

roboticsguy · 11-08-2009, 03:33 PM

I heard this one last night:

Here's to the bitches we love best,
we love them best when they're undressed,
we'll f*ck 'em big,
we'll f*ck 'em small,
we'll f*ck 'em short,
we'll f*ck 'em tall,
and when they're dead and long forgotten,
we'll dig them up & f*ck 'em rotten.

blazerida88 · 11-08-2009, 04:02 PM

Good ones so far, we need more, post em up

low86blazer · 11-08-2009, 04:54 PM

the only one i know

heres to the girls who buy all the shoes
they drink all our beer and steal all our booze
they may not have their cherries but that's not a sin
cause they still have the box that the cherry came in

11-03-2009, 09:36 PM	#1
blazerida88 PHAT JOE Age: 21 Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,735 Location: birmingham alabama User is: OffLine	funny drinking and party toasts ok well i was out the other night at the bar and heard a good one, what r some funny ones u guys know Here's to the wound that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels. And all the soap this side of hell won't wash away that fishy smell.
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11-04-2009, 12:47 AM	#2
towb3 Ehhh! Age: 27 Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,394 Location: Belleville, IL/St.Louis User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts I have a friend that would fill pages of this thread with toasts. It is funny for a while, but at times I just want to drink. No need to toast between every drink.
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11-04-2009, 01:02 AM	#3
556mm &amp;lt;3 redheads Age: 27 Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 25,730 Location: User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts here's to honor, if you can't come in 'er come on 'er.
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11-04-2009, 02:28 AM	#4
S-10_man66 Nevada: Hookers & Poker Age: 19 Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 839 Location: Bellevue,NE User is: Online	Re: funny drinking and party toasts My dad has got some Ill have to ask him
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11-04-2009, 02:48 AM	#5
blazerida88 PHAT JOE Age: 21 Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,735 Location: birmingham alabama User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Quote: Originally Posted by 556mm here's to honor, if you can't come in 'er come on 'er. I have heard that before but everytime I hear it I crack up
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11-04-2009, 03:23 AM	#6
van_wilder No Bull Age: 24 Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,747 Location: myrtle beach, sc User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pussy's not pizza so don't eat the crust... here's to living single, seeing double, and sleeping triple... Here's to the girl with the little red shoes, she loves her nookie, she loves her booze... she's lost her cherry, but that's no sin... cause she's still got the box the cherry came in! Offer her your honor,and if she honors your offer,get honor and offer all night...
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11-04-2009, 05:53 AM	#7
_juice_ Juice&Docs' Drop Shop Age: 28 Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,311 Location: Spartanburg. SC User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts through the lips, over the gums look out stomach HERE IT COMES!! my sis-in-law says that all the time
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11-04-2009, 08:42 AM	#8
twotoneds10 S-Clusive NY Age: 23 Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 965 Location: Williamsport, PA User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Here's to you, here's to me. Friends forever shall we be. If ever we should disagree, then **** you. Here's to me.
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11-04-2009, 11:10 AM	#9
Metlhed01 ANGRY BABY! Age: 22 Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,378 Location: Micco, FL (sebastian) User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts lets make a toast to all the lesbians and virgins out there, thanks for ****in nothin!
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11-04-2009, 11:44 AM	#10
deathphoenix99 94 2.2, feel the power? Age: 19 Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 3,002 Location: Houston, TX User is: Online	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Quote: Originally Posted by twotoneds10 Here's to you, here's to me. Friends forever shall we be. If ever we should disagree, then *** you. Here's to me.* Similiar, my dad apparently said this at his wedding toast. "Here's to you, Here's to me. Hope we never disagree. If we do, to hell with you. Here's to me." Still married too after twenty something years.
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11-04-2009, 11:50 AM	#11
MeltingPlastic Broken Handed Superman Age: 24 Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 5,267 Location: Hackensack, NJ User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Quote: Originally Posted by 556mm here's to honor, if you can't come in 'er come on 'er. thats the short version... i know it as Here's to Honor! To getting honor, to keeping honor, and if you can't cum in her, cum on her!
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11-04-2009, 12:25 PM	#12
vindicated_4.3 Registered User Age: 23 Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 69 Location: Glassboro, NJ User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts "Heres to a long life and a happy one, A quick death and a quiet one, A pretty girl and an honest one, A cold beer and another one!" "Heres to nights I cant remember and friends Ill never forget." "I fvcked her standing, I fvcked her lying, If she had wing Id have fvcked her flying. Now shes gone but not forgoten, Ill dig her up and fvck her rotten." Thats all I got for now.
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11-04-2009, 12:59 PM	#13
vivalahammer banana Age: 21 Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 849 Location: Long Island, NY User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts hmm, subscribes.
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11-04-2009, 01:26 PM	#14
bubbagt57 GAVE his truck to 96super Age: 19 Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 2,290 Location: burtonsville, maryland User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Quote: Originally Posted by vivalahammer hmm, subscribes. x2.
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11-04-2009, 02:07 PM	#15
blazerida88 PHAT JOE Age: 21 Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,735 Location: birmingham alabama User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Hahaha these r some good ones lol, I'll probablly never use em but they r funny as hell to hear
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11-06-2009, 03:58 PM	#16
BUCKET RITALIN, IT LOVES ME! Age: 29 Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 3,703 Location: c-view FL User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts here's to our wives and girlfriends. hope they never meet....
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11-06-2009, 04:25 PM	#17
neo71665 4x4 v6 blazer Age: 29 Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 5,005 Location: rison arkansas User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts You guys came by to have some fun. You'll come and stay all night, I fear. But I know how to make you run. I'll serve you all generic beer.
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11-06-2009, 04:35 PM	#18
leadsled2020 Crazy As Fuck Age: 25 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 2,030 Location: User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Quote: Originally Posted by neo71665 You guys came by to have some fun. You'll come and stay all night, I fear. But I know how to make you run. I'll serve you all generic beer. that would work but all of my friends drink generic beer anyway.....lol
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11-06-2009, 04:38 PM	#19
ExtremeVI Suicided Member Age: 34 Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,112 Location: Bowie, MD User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Here's to nipples... without 'em tits are pointless.
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11-06-2009, 04:40 PM	#20
littleblacktruck2 Registered User Age: 25 Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 28 Location: User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Here's to good times, loose women, and hott sex...may they cum together always.
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11-06-2009, 04:45 PM	#21
neo71665 4x4 v6 blazer Age: 29 Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 5,005 Location: rison arkansas User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Quote: Originally Posted by leadsled2020 that would work but all of my friends drink generic beer anyway.....lol Get friends with taste??
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11-06-2009, 11:57 PM	#22
S-10_man66 Nevada: Hookers & Poker Age: 19 Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 839 Location: Bellevue,NE User is: Online	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Heres to Osama that Son of a B*tch May his pecker fall off with the seven year itch Id like to beat on his balls with a big brass hammer Until his asshole screams the Star Spangled Banner Sugar in a bowl, Coffee in a cup, stick her in the butt you wont knock her up.
	[Reply w/Quote]

11-07-2009, 03:59 PM	#23
blazerida88 PHAT JOE Age: 21 Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,735 Location: birmingham alabama User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Quote: Originally Posted by S-10_man66 Heres to Osama that Son of a B*tch May his pecker fall off with the seven year itch Id like to beat on his balls with a big brass hammer Until his asshole screams the Star Spangled Banner Sugar in a bowl, Coffee in a cup, stick her in the butt you wont knock her up. hahaha that last ones funny, but those seem more like just funny sayings rather than toasts or whatever, but its all good, this should just be a whatever u wanna say thats funny thread. i can always use a good laugh
	[Reply w/Quote]

11-08-2009, 03:33 PM	#24
roboticsguy Truckless Member Age: 33 Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,737 Location: Seattle, WA User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts I heard this one last night: Here's to the bitches we love best, we love them best when they're undressed, we'll fck 'em big, we'll fck 'em small, we'll fck 'em short, we'll fck 'em tall, and when they're dead and long forgotten, we'll dig them up & f*ck 'em rotten.
	[Reply w/Quote]

11-08-2009, 04:02 PM	#25
blazerida88 PHAT JOE Age: 21 Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,735 Location: birmingham alabama User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts Good ones so far, we need more, post em up
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11-08-2009, 04:54 PM	#26
low86blazer Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 150 Location: User is: OffLine	Re: funny drinking and party toasts the only one i know heres to the girls who buy all the shoes they drink all our beer and steal all our booze they may not have their cherries but that's not a sin cause they still have the box that the cherry came in
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