Fmsl

scpatterson · 11-12-2009, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Today, I got on my girlfriend's computer while she was in the shower. The first thing in her 'recent searches' is "How to Fake an Orgasm." FMSL

Quote:

I get more pleasure from squeezing my legs together than my boyfriend of a year ever gives me. FMSL

Quote:

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to cum, he yelled "Yes Kelly!" really loud. My name's not Kelly, that's his sister's name. FMSL

http://fmysex.com/?page=1

**deathphoenix99** · 11-12-2009, 10:08 PM

Never heard of that one. I like it! Good one man.

SoloSDN · 11-12-2009, 10:26 PM

found some i thought were funny

A woman I met at the bar was hinting that all I needed to do was say the word and I could go home with her. I didn't take her up on it because I could feel a huge poop coming on and I didn't want to dump it at her apartment. I got cockblocked by the calzone I had for lunch. FMSL

My first real girlfriend and I were making out naked. We were trying to be "good" by not having sex but doing everything else. I rolled on top of her and she was so wet I just slipped right in. I lost my virginity by accident. FMSL

So I was having sex with this girl from my class and we were really getting into it. I was about to cum, but she orgasmed first. When she did she screamed "I'm Cumming!" in a Demonic lower pitched voice. I stopped and never came. FMSL

My girlfriend doesn't like my breath after taking an acid reflex pill because her grandfather also uses them. Once during foreplay I slowly went down to pleasure her when she said, "Great, my pussy is going to smell like my grandpa's breath." I went limp. FMSL

My boyfriend was eating me out in my car today as I was giving him a handjob. I was moaning really loudly so my boyfriend started howling. When I asked him what he was doing he said he thought I was pretending to be a wolverine making love. FMSL

S-10_man66 · 11-13-2009, 01:46 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by DFitty

found some i thought were funny

My boyfriend was eating me out in my car today as I was giving him a handjob. I was moaning really loudly so my boyfriend started howling. When I asked him what he was doing he said he thought I was pretending to be a wolverine making love. FMSL

This one is hilarious

LiquidFusion · 11-13-2009, 04:21 AM

ChicagoJoe · 11-13-2009, 10:32 AM

I have a feeling im going to be wasting a lot of time on that site

phantom_mia · 11-13-2009, 10:51 AM

I got a late-nite call from a guy I've been seeing, so I let him come over for a little fun. He didn't tell me he'd been eating mega-hot chicken wings all evening, until I had to run to the bathroom with my cooch on fire. It took hours for the burning to stop, and I was sore for 2 days. FMSL

ok i laughed at this one

GreatWhite00 · 11-13-2009, 01:30 PM

Maybe it's me, but I don't see those even slightly amusing.

leprechaun1874 · 11-13-2009, 02:08 PM

It's just you

adamwilkes20 · 11-13-2009, 02:24 PM

My girlfriend barely touches me when we have sex, the only way I can get her to give me pleasure is to actually jack off myself with her hand. FMSL

Last night I was having hot phone sex with my boyfriend. He was amazing at talking dirty to me. I was just about to have an orgasm, til I heard his mom walk in, tell him it was time for hockey practice, and she took his phone away. FMSL

My boyfriend wont eat me out unless I shower first. He doesn't want it to taste like "vagina." FMSL

LMAO

cars4fun2004 · 11-13-2009, 03:16 PM

read them all. some are funny as shit some are just sad.

scpatterson · 11-13-2009, 07:55 PM

lol

Quote:

My wife was feeling frisky last night but I have been ill. Being the good husband I obliged my wife's urges. Half way through I puked on her. FMSL

Quote:

In school I texted my girl I wanted to **** and to meet me in the bathroom. She wouldn't go in the boys, so I went to the girls. I didn't see anybody going in so I rushed in and looked under the stalls - my girls black Uggs. To be funny I poked my head under to find my health teacher pooping. Expulsion. FMSL

x98zq8x · 11-13-2009, 08:04 PM

In school I texted my girl I wanted to **** and to meet me in the bathroom. She wouldn't go in the boys, so I went to the girls. I didn't see anybody going in so I rushed in and looked under the stalls - my girls black Uggs. To be funny I poked my head under to find my health teacher pooping. Expulsion. FMSL

Hahaha I laughed for like 20 mins!

Got-20z · 11-13-2009, 08:24 PM

[url="http://fmysex.com/view/Misc/842"]I'm 23 and I had sex for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago. The condom was too big and slipped off during sex, the girl laughed at the size of my dong, I came in her and she might be pregnant, and now I have sores on my cock. FMSL

i had to laugh at that one for a few minutes

bill 4.3l 5spd · 11-13-2009, 08:39 PM

Woke up in the back of a Tahoe after a drunken hook up with a lady friend at a campsite. Mega hungover, went to adjust my junk and noticed something odd!! There was gum stuck in between my ball sack and my leg. I spent that morning trying to cut the gum out with mini scissors and shaky hands. FMSL

***Hucko*** · 11-13-2009, 09:07 PM

whats next Fm**.... these are getting old.....

11-12-2009, 09:01 PM	#1
scpatterson Registered User Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 37 Location: User is: OffLine	Fmsl Quote: Quote: Today, I got on my girlfriend's computer while she was in the shower. The first thing in her 'recent searches' is "How to Fake an Orgasm." FMSL Quote: I get more pleasure from squeezing my legs together than my boyfriend of a year ever gives me. FMSL Quote: Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to cum, he yelled "Yes Kelly!" really loud. My name's not Kelly, that's his sister's name. FMSL http://fmysex.com/?page=1
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11-12-2009, 10:08 PM	#2
deathphoenix99 Electrical guy Age: 20 Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 7,761 Location: Flint, MI User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl Never heard of that one. I like it! Good one man.
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11-12-2009, 10:26 PM	#3
SoloSDN Custom User Title Age: 21 Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 4,235 Location: Texas User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl found some i thought were funny A woman I met at the bar was hinting that all I needed to do was say the word and I could go home with her. I didn't take her up on it because I could feel a huge poop coming on and I didn't want to dump it at her apartment. I got cockblocked by the calzone I had for lunch. FMSL My first real girlfriend and I were making out naked. We were trying to be "good" by not having sex but doing everything else. I rolled on top of her and she was so wet I just slipped right in. I lost my virginity by accident. FMSL So I was having sex with this girl from my class and we were really getting into it. I was about to cum, but she orgasmed first. When she did she screamed "I'm Cumming!" in a Demonic lower pitched voice. I stopped and never came. FMSL My girlfriend doesn't like my breath after taking an acid reflex pill because her grandfather also uses them. Once during foreplay I slowly went down to pleasure her when she said, "Great, my pussy is going to smell like my grandpa's breath." I went limp. FMSL My boyfriend was eating me out in my car today as I was giving him a handjob. I was moaning really loudly so my boyfriend started howling. When I asked him what he was doing he said he thought I was pretending to be a wolverine making love. FMSL
	[Reply w/Quote]

11-13-2009, 01:46 AM	#4
S-10_man66 Nevada: Hookers & Poker Age: 19 Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 951 Location: Bellevue,NE User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl Quote: Originally Posted by DFitty found some i thought were funny My boyfriend was eating me out in my car today as I was giving him a handjob. I was moaning really loudly so my boyfriend started howling. When I asked him what he was doing he said he thought I was pretending to be a wolverine making love. FMSL This one is hilarious
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11-13-2009, 04:21 AM	#5
LiquidFusion I won't enjoy it Age: 25 Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 14,604 Location: Fresno, CA User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl lol
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11-13-2009, 10:32 AM	#6
ChicagoJoe Registered User Age: 29 Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 814 Location: Chicago User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl I have a feeling im going to be wasting a lot of time on that site
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11-13-2009, 10:51 AM	#7
phantom_mia trouble maker Age: 44 Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,315 Location: west palm beach fl User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl I got a late-nite call from a guy I've been seeing, so I let him come over for a little fun. He didn't tell me he'd been eating mega-hot chicken wings all evening, until I had to run to the bathroom with my cooch on fire. It took hours for the burning to stop, and I was sore for 2 days. FMSL ok i laughed at this one
	[Reply w/Quote]

11-13-2009, 01:30 PM	#8
GreatWhite00 I just cummed. Age: 26 Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 17,767 Location: Mantua,OH User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl Maybe it's me, but I don't see those even slightly amusing.
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11-13-2009, 02:08 PM	#9
leprechaun1874 Needs a 3.4 Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 1,447 Location: Charlotte User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl It's just you
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11-13-2009, 02:24 PM	#10
adamwilkes20 DiRT 2 fannatic Age: 31 Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 4,041 Location: Zephyrhills,FL User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl My girlfriend barely touches me when we have sex, the only way I can get her to give me pleasure is to actually jack off myself with her hand. FMSL Last night I was having hot phone sex with my boyfriend. He was amazing at talking dirty to me. I was just about to have an orgasm, til I heard his mom walk in, tell him it was time for hockey practice, and she took his phone away. FMSL My boyfriend wont eat me out unless I shower first. He doesn't want it to taste like "vagina." FMSL LMAO
	[Reply w/Quote]

11-13-2009, 03:16 PM	#11
cars4fun2004 Registered User Age: 30 Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 243 Location: Bohnam Tx User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl read them all. some are funny as shit some are just sad.
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11-13-2009, 07:55 PM	#12
scpatterson Registered User Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 37 Location: User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl lol Quote: Quote: My wife was feeling frisky last night but I have been ill. Being the good husband I obliged my wife's urges. Half way through I puked on her. FMSL Quote: Quote: In school I texted my girl I wanted to **** and to meet me in the bathroom. She wouldn't go in the boys, so I went to the girls. I didn't see anybody going in so I rushed in and looked under the stalls - my girls black Uggs. To be funny I poked my head under to find my health teacher pooping. Expulsion. FMSL
	[Reply w/Quote]

11-13-2009, 08:04 PM	#13
x98zq8x Registered Pimp Age: 16 Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,137 Location: Taylor,MI User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl In school I texted my girl I wanted to **** and to meet me in the bathroom. She wouldn't go in the boys, so I went to the girls. I didn't see anybody going in so I rushed in and looked under the stalls - my girls black Uggs. To be funny I poked my head under to find my health teacher pooping. Expulsion. FMSL Hahaha I laughed for like 20 mins!
	[Reply w/Quote]

11-13-2009, 08:24 PM	#14
Got-20z has committed suicide! Age: 28 Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 11,979 Location: North East, Kentucky User is: OffLine	Re: Fmsl [url="http://fmysex.com/view/Misc/842"]I'm 23 and I had sex for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago. The condom was too big and slipped off during sex, the girl laughed at the size of my dong, I came in her and she might be pregnant, and now I have sores on my cock. FMSL i had to laugh at that one for a few minutes Last edited by Got-20z : 11-13-2009 at 08:30 PM.
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11-13-2009, 08:39 PM	#15
bill 4.3l 5spd carries a gun at work Age: 28 Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,889 Location: Bergen NY User is: Online	Re: Fmsl Woke up in the back of a Tahoe after a drunken hook up with a lady friend at a campsite. Mega hungover, went to adjust my junk and noticed something odd!! There was gum stuck in between my ball sack and my leg. I spent that morning trying to cut the gum out with mini scissors and shaky hands. FMSL
	[Reply w/Quote]