Military BSing Thread

Petro · 09-27-2009, 11:31 PM

Haha...gotta love Brads...NOT!!! I like how the MGs and Bradley crews are super serious about CCTT training and we all act like goofballs when we go there for gun truck crew training...They get mad when you say " Shoot those mutha***** on that roof." Instead of saying " Gunner , RPG Team , 3'o'clock , 300 meters , identify , FIRE!!!""" Which doesn't happen in real life of course....haha

Zapnoma · 09-27-2009, 11:58 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by Petro

Haha...gotta love Brads...NOT!!! I like how the MGs and Bradley crews are super serious about CCTT training and we all act like goofballs when we go there for gun truck crew training...They get mad when you say " Shoot those mutha***** on that roof." Instead of saying " Gunner , RPG Team , 3'o'clock , 300 meters , identify , FIRE!!!""" Which doesn't happen in real life of course....haha

Yeah, BGST sucks because it's all by the book crap.

Joker Relentless · 09-28-2009, 08:59 AM

Good story...I got one...

This one time, I found $5 on the ground. True story...you can't make that shit up.

Zapnoma · 09-28-2009, 10:29 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by Joker Relentless

Good story...I got one...

This one time, I found $5 on the ground. True story...you can't make that shit up.

K, funny story time since you suck at this.

We're at Annual Training(AT) and it was the first year we'd had our Bradleys so instead of the normal 2weeks, it was 3weeks so we could train on them and get crew-qualified.
So we're at Ft. Riley doing training on them and our CO's track was one or two away from mine. One of our E4's comes up to the CO with a kevlar helmet and says that he found it on the ground and didn't know whose kevlar it was. So the CO looks under the cover and finally finds that it belongs to one of our LT's. Well, a kevlar is considered a "sensitive item" so the CO has the E4 go get said LT to report to the CO. Said LT reports to the CO and the convo is as following:

"Sir, you wanted to see me?"
"Hey LT, where's your kevlar at?"
"Erm, I think it's back at my track, sir?"
"No it's not, it's right here in my hands." and throws him the helmet.
"Gee, thanks sir! I had placed it on the ground for a moment and when I turned back, it was gone!"
*LT turns and starts to walk off at this point*
"Um, LT?"
"Sir?"
"Get back here. We have business to discuss."
"Oh, um, ok, sir."
"LT, how much does a kevlar cost?"
"I dunno sir, $50?"
"Try more like $200 and up....tell you what, how about we split the difference and you do 100 pushups since this nice young man was nice enough to take care of your helmet for you!"

*LT knocks out 100 pushups for the CO*

*Fast forward to the 2nd to last day we're at Ft Riley for AT and we're flipping plates on our Bradleys so we can wash them*

"Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, look what I found!" says the same E4 as before as he is running to the CO with a kevlar in his helmet.
"Lemme guess, LT So-and-so?"
"Yes sir!"

*CO has the E4 get LT again and LT walks up all dejected with his shoulders slumped*

"Hey LT, how much does a kevlar cost?"
"Around $200 and up, sir?"
"That's right, start knocking out 100 pushups." as the LT was already on his way down to the pushup position and the CO has this evil grin on his face.

Everyone was busting up laughing because it happened not once but twice from the same LT and the same E4 that found his helmet....in addition to the CO's reaction.

armymansS10 · 09-28-2009, 10:43 AM

SPC. US ARMY
1st Armored Combat Patch
25U Signal Support Systems SPC - translation - COLs personal radio bitch
4th BCT 1st AD

In Talil Iraq which was turned into a garrison post, we do BN runs now.

jloly · 09-28-2009, 12:05 PM

true story true story a week before we leave iraq my lt driver and tc were all lookin at ratemyrack.com on the bunk across from me. co walks in just as im leaning over to settle a debate of "transvestite or not". we all laugh including him. than he orders us outside and says hes gonna fry us all for breaking general order no.1. I state I have guarded everything within the limits of my post. and never left my post without being properly relieved SIR. he states im asmart ass and he's gonna bust me to E-1. i state i opt for ucmj over artical-15. he has the paperwork done within 2 hours and im on my way to jag in the morning. ltc listens to me reads the artical 15 looks at some shit on the computer and calls the bde co and tells him to stop his company comander from makeing an asshat of himself.

problem solved right? maybe not i got my v device takin of my arcom with whiteout on a 638 and 5 points on the promotion board. **** it though i got what i think i honestly deserved for the award and if ya need rank to lead someone or accomplish somethin ya dont need it at all.

the best part is said co broke in ranger school and may not be able to continue a carrer in the military becouse of a leg injury

Zapnoma · 09-28-2009, 12:11 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by jloly

true story true story a week before we leave iraq my lt driver and tc were all lookin at ratemyrack.com on the bunk across from me. co walks in just as im leaning over to settle a debate of "transvestite or not". we all laugh including him. than he orders us outside and says hes gonna fry us all for breaking general order no.1. I state I have guarded everything within the limits of my post. and never left my post without being properly relieved SIR. he states im asmart ass and he's gonna bust me to E-1. i state i opt for ucmj over artical-15. he has the paperwork done within 2 hours and im on my way to jag in the morning. ltc listens to me reads the artical 15 looks at some shit on the computer and calls the bde co and tells him to stop his company comander from makeing an asshat of himself.

problem solved right? maybe not i got my v device takin of my arcom with whiteout on a 638 and 5 points on the promotion board. **** it though i got what i think i honestly deserved for the award and if ya need rank to lead someone or accomplish somethin ya dont need it at all.

the best part is said co broke in ranger school and may not be able to continue a carrer in the military becouse of a leg injury

Wtf, he was actually going to write you guys up?

Our CO in Iraq was getting pie from two different women while we were there. Hell, our LTC BN CO was getting some pie and that fucker served in 'Nam with the 1st Cav.

Your CO sounds like a gigantic bag of cockbreath....fuck.

Petro · 09-28-2009, 02:07 PM

The shouldn't take a V device away from your Arcom for some irrelevant sh**...If you actually earned it then you earned it...Plus that's a gay CO for getting mad about Genenral Order 1A....As long as you aren't blatantly showing it off then no problem...You must work with females???? Our CO only got mad about alcohol in Iraq which is understandable....

Petro · 09-28-2009, 02:09 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by armymansS10

SPC. US ARMY
1st Armored Combat Patch
25U Signal Support Systems SPC - translation - COLs personal radio bitch
4th BCT 1st AD

In Talil Iraq which was turned into a garrison post, we do BN runs now.

Fobbits have always acted like Iraq was still garrison...unfortunately I will be one this go around too but I'd rather be out sucking with no shower , burning sh** , and more freedom...But whatever this time is all about making money...Yay for $500 extra stop loss pay on top of everything else!!!!

jloly · 09-30-2009, 12:45 PM

my co was pissed cause my driver wouldnt give him no pie. and when it finaly got to the point that she called sexual harrasment my pltn stood behind her 100% i had to report to the co the day after she filed. it went somethin like this "sir spc melartin reporting as ordered" without returning the salute and im still holding mine he asks what is the deal with my driver saying he sexualy harrased her my reply "sir you are a coward, insecure sawed off **** bucket. that has probly never gotten poon in the real world and thought you could get some with rank and position." still holding my salute and with the co completely shut down "you know where i stand now sir and you know the door was closed" I than walk out.

it got so bad after that we had to start sourcing our own ammo in my squad.

it took me 9 months to get outa the guard and i got a 5 on my promotion board while in the guard

my driver got busted to an e1

some things are worth it

Petro · 09-30-2009, 06:28 PM

I Hate Officers!!!!!^^^^^

fluX · 09-30-2009, 09:24 PM

A majority of them are pussies... not all though; just most.

gotsparks? · 10-09-2009, 12:37 AM

Speaking of officers I gotta do a change of command ceremony first thing tommorow morning..fml

then off to 29 palms next wednesday haha should be another interesting couple of weeks

fluX · 10-12-2009, 12:23 PM

Good luck with all that. Take a big whiff of the shit pond in front of the base for me! LOL!

gotsparks? · 10-12-2009, 08:12 PM

Lol well our new CO is pretty badass. Keeps everything short and simple. I stocked up on monsters and cigarettes for 29 so I should survive haha.

Joker Relentless · 11-20-2009, 11:26 PM

09-27-2009, 11:31 PM	#201
Petro Registered User Age: 24 Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,536 Location: Savannah, GA User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread Haha...gotta love Brads...NOT!!! I like how the MGs and Bradley crews are super serious about CCTT training and we all act like goofballs when we go there for gun truck crew training...They get mad when you say " Shoot those mutha***** on that roof." Instead of saying " Gunner , RPG Team , 3'o'clock , 300 meters , identify , FIRE!!!""" Which doesn't happen in real life of course....haha
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-27-2009, 11:58 PM	#202
Zapnoma Fri'chkn n wtrmeln -nom! Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 20,090 Location: Fri'chknville User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread Quote: Originally Posted by Petro Haha...gotta love Brads...NOT!!! I like how the MGs and Bradley crews are super serious about CCTT training and we all act like goofballs when we go there for gun truck crew training...They get mad when you say " Shoot those mutha***** on that roof." Instead of saying " Gunner , RPG Team , 3'o'clock , 300 meters , identify , FIRE!!!""" Which doesn't happen in real life of course....haha Yeah, BGST sucks because it's all by the book crap.
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-28-2009, 08:59 AM	#203
Joker Relentless Who's got the fish? Age: 26 Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,914 Location: Antartica User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread Good story...I got one... This one time, I found $5 on the ground. True story...you can't make that shit up.
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-28-2009, 10:29 AM	#204
Zapnoma Fri'chkn n wtrmeln -nom! Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 20,090 Location: Fri'chknville User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread Quote: Originally Posted by Joker Relentless Good story...I got one... This one time, I found $5 on the ground. True story...you can't make that shit up. K, funny story time since you suck at this. We're at Annual Training(AT) and it was the first year we'd had our Bradleys so instead of the normal 2weeks, it was 3weeks so we could train on them and get crew-qualified. So we're at Ft. Riley doing training on them and our CO's track was one or two away from mine. One of our E4's comes up to the CO with a kevlar helmet and says that he found it on the ground and didn't know whose kevlar it was. So the CO looks under the cover and finally finds that it belongs to one of our LT's. Well, a kevlar is considered a "sensitive item" so the CO has the E4 go get said LT to report to the CO. Said LT reports to the CO and the convo is as following: "Sir, you wanted to see me?" "Hey LT, where's your kevlar at?" "Erm, I think it's back at my track, sir?" "No it's not, it's right here in my hands." and throws him the helmet. "Gee, thanks sir! I had placed it on the ground for a moment and when I turned back, it was gone!" LT turns and starts to walk off at this point "Um, LT?" "Sir?" "Get back here. We have business to discuss." "Oh, um, ok, sir." "LT, how much does a kevlar cost?" "I dunno sir, $50?" "Try more like $200 and up....tell you what, how about we split the difference and you do 100 pushups since this nice young man was nice enough to take care of your helmet for you!" LT knocks out 100 pushups for the CO Fast forward to the 2nd to last day we're at Ft Riley for AT and we're flipping plates on our Bradleys so we can wash them "Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, look what I found!" says the same E4 as before as he is running to the CO with a kevlar in his helmet. "Lemme guess, LT So-and-so?" "Yes sir!" CO has the E4 get LT again and LT walks up all dejected with his shoulders slumped "Hey LT, how much does a kevlar cost?" "Around $200 and up, sir?" "That's right, start knocking out 100 pushups." as the LT was already on his way down to the pushup position and the CO has this evil grin on his face. Everyone was busting up laughing because it happened not once but twice from the same LT and the same E4 that found his helmet....in addition to the CO's reaction.
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-28-2009, 10:43 AM	#205
armymansS10 1st Armored Division Age: 20 Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 116 Location: Basra, Iraq User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread SPC. US ARMY 1st Armored Combat Patch 25U Signal Support Systems SPC - translation - COLs personal radio bitch 4th BCT 1st AD In Talil Iraq which was turned into a garrison post, we do BN runs now. Last edited by armymansS10 : 09-28-2009 at 10:46 AM.
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-28-2009, 12:05 PM	#206
jloly Registered User Age: 29 Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 131 Location: User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread true story true story a week before we leave iraq my lt driver and tc were all lookin at ratemyrack.com on the bunk across from me. co walks in just as im leaning over to settle a debate of "transvestite or not". we all laugh including him. than he orders us outside and says hes gonna fry us all for breaking general order no.1. I state I have guarded everything within the limits of my post. and never left my post without being properly relieved SIR. he states im asmart ass and he's gonna bust me to E-1. i state i opt for ucmj over artical-15. he has the paperwork done within 2 hours and im on my way to jag in the morning. ltc listens to me reads the artical 15 looks at some shit on the computer and calls the bde co and tells him to stop his company comander from makeing an asshat of himself. problem solved right? maybe not i got my v device takin of my arcom with whiteout on a 638 and 5 points on the promotion board. **** it though i got what i think i honestly deserved for the award and if ya need rank to lead someone or accomplish somethin ya dont need it at all. the best part is said co broke in ranger school and may not be able to continue a carrer in the military becouse of a leg injury
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-28-2009, 12:11 PM	#207
Zapnoma Fri'chkn n wtrmeln -nom! Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 20,090 Location: Fri'chknville User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread Quote: Originally Posted by jloly true story true story a week before we leave iraq my lt driver and tc were all lookin at ratemyrack.com on the bunk across from me. co walks in just as im leaning over to settle a debate of "transvestite or not". we all laugh including him. than he orders us outside and says hes gonna fry us all for breaking general order no.1. I state I have guarded everything within the limits of my post. and never left my post without being properly relieved SIR. he states im asmart ass and he's gonna bust me to E-1. i state i opt for ucmj over artical-15. he has the paperwork done within 2 hours and im on my way to jag in the morning. ltc listens to me reads the artical 15 looks at some shit on the computer and calls the bde co and tells him to stop his company comander from makeing an asshat of himself. problem solved right? maybe not i got my v device takin of my arcom with whiteout on a 638 and 5 points on the promotion board. **** it though i got what i think i honestly deserved for the award and if ya need rank to lead someone or accomplish somethin ya dont need it at all. the best part is said co broke in ranger school and may not be able to continue a carrer in the military becouse of a leg injury Wtf, he was actually going to write you guys up? Our CO in Iraq was getting pie from two different women while we were there. Hell, our LTC BN CO was getting some pie and that fucker served in 'Nam with the 1st Cav. Your CO sounds like a gigantic bag of cockbreath....fuck.
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-28-2009, 02:07 PM	#208
Petro Registered User Age: 24 Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,536 Location: Savannah, GA User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread The shouldn't take a V device away from your Arcom for some irrelevant sh**...If you actually earned it then you earned it...Plus that's a gay CO for getting mad about Genenral Order 1A....As long as you aren't blatantly showing it off then no problem...You must work with females???? Our CO only got mad about alcohol in Iraq which is understandable....
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-28-2009, 02:09 PM	#209
Petro Registered User Age: 24 Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,536 Location: Savannah, GA User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread Quote: Originally Posted by armymansS10 SPC. US ARMY 1st Armored Combat Patch 25U Signal Support Systems SPC - translation - COLs personal radio bitch 4th BCT 1st AD In Talil Iraq which was turned into a garrison post, we do BN runs now. Fobbits have always acted like Iraq was still garrison...unfortunately I will be one this go around too but I'd rather be out sucking with no shower , burning sh** , and more freedom...But whatever this time is all about making money...Yay for $500 extra stop loss pay on top of everything else!!!!
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-30-2009, 12:45 PM	#210
jloly Registered User Age: 29 Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 131 Location: User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread my co was pissed cause my driver wouldnt give him no pie. and when it finaly got to the point that she called sexual harrasment my pltn stood behind her 100% i had to report to the co the day after she filed. it went somethin like this "sir spc melartin reporting as ordered" without returning the salute and im still holding mine he asks what is the deal with my driver saying he sexualy harrased her my reply "sir you are a coward, insecure sawed off **** bucket. that has probly never gotten poon in the real world and thought you could get some with rank and position." still holding my salute and with the co completely shut down "you know where i stand now sir and you know the door was closed" I than walk out. it got so bad after that we had to start sourcing our own ammo in my squad. it took me 9 months to get outa the guard and i got a 5 on my promotion board while in the guard my driver got busted to an e1 some things are worth it
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-30-2009, 06:28 PM	#211
Petro Registered User Age: 24 Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,536 Location: Savannah, GA User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread I Hate Officers!!!!!^^^^^
	[Reply w/Quote]

09-30-2009, 09:24 PM	#212
fluX fuck off Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,712 Location: Chicago, IL User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread A majority of them are pussies... not all though; just most.
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10-09-2009, 12:37 AM	#213
gotsparks? smashed Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 651 Location: Crestview Florida User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread Speaking of officers I gotta do a change of command ceremony first thing tommorow morning..fml then off to 29 palms next wednesday haha should be another interesting couple of weeks
	[Reply w/Quote]

10-12-2009, 12:23 PM	#214
fluX fuck off Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,712 Location: Chicago, IL User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread Good luck with all that. Take a big whiff of the shit pond in front of the base for me! LOL!
	[Reply w/Quote]

10-12-2009, 08:12 PM	#215
gotsparks? smashed Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 651 Location: Crestview Florida User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread Lol well our new CO is pretty badass. Keeps everything short and simple. I stocked up on monsters and cigarettes for 29 so I should survive haha.
	[Reply w/Quote]

11-20-2009, 11:26 PM	#216
Joker Relentless Who's got the fish? Age: 26 Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,914 Location: Antartica User is: OffLine	Re: Military BSing Thread ****
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